The OxMatch Campus Report 2020

Image: Oxmatch x RAG’s advert, reading ‘Naughty or Nice?’ against a snowy Radcliffe Camera.

OxMatch attracted enormous success this year, running both the standard OxMatch as well as a RAG x OxMatch collaboration, which helped raise more than £2600 for Rag charities. 

In total, OxMatch has had over 4500 sign-ups since its inception in Trinity Term 2020. As per routine, Oxford hopefuls answered a series of questions, from the college-related to the political, in order to find their next partner-in-crime (or partner somewhere else). Here are the headlines. 

For both the RAG and the standard Michaelmas versions of OxMatch, PPEists were the most in number –  accounting for about 7.5% of sign-ups (Perhaps they’re trying to cover absolutely all networking bases). Law took second place, with around 7%. At the bottom of the list were Physics and Philosophy as well as Classics with Modern Languages, accounting for just 0.2% and 0.3% of sign-ups respectively, proving that they simply can’t afford the sign-up time. 

In terms of political leaning, no subject at Oxford had a majority of right-wing sign-ups, with the closest being Engineering and Economics and Management. 

For those people with a crush, most of the crushes were at New College, followed by Christ Church, which between them accounted for 11.5% of all Crushes (The buildings are pretty…)

In terms of both Undergrad and Postgrad colleges, St Benet’s Hall and Mansfield ranked at the bottom of this list, together accounting for less than 2%. However, only around 25% of sign ups elected to input a crush, meaning that even for those at Mansfield and St Benet’s, true love is still out there.

For Postgrad only colleges, St Anthony’s topped the pile, with Wycliffe Hall at the bottom of the list, proving nothing other than that Postgrads are simply far too classy to confess a crush. 

For the people who didn’t want a match from a particular college, around 25% specifically requested not to have a match from Christ Church (Perhaps a dislike of fountains, fish or Harry Potter) New College was the most popular, with only 0.4% of responses requesting a non-New College match (That’s the Harry Potter theory debunked)

As for kinkiness, that’s the Oxford norm. Every college had an average above 2.5 on the 1-5 scale, with Keble registering a particularly impressive average of nearly 3.25 – St Hughs and Balliol not far behind. On the opposite end, St Anne’s and Corpus Christi confessed to having more relaxed tastes in the bedroom, despite the existence of an ‘Ann Summers’ Bop. Perhaps a formal sponsorship would change things… 

Oxford students generally consider themselves intelligent, but particularly those at Merton, New, Hertford, and Magdalen, who on average thought themselves significantly better than the average at Oxford – Cloisters do certainly come with a Messiah complex. In contrast, Oriel, St Peter’s, and Exeter were the humblest of all colleges, a well known consequence of drinking three or more Cross-Keys. 

In days long gone by, Oxford students enjoyed the odd night out. But which nights out were the most right-wing? The stats show that Park End was the most tory night out at Oxford (albeit not much at all), with Plush ranking significantly above the others in terms of left-wingness (Those £1 Jaegerbombs do make people see red…)

Now for the big stats. Despite no college having a right-wing majority, Oriel and Christ Church are by far the most right-wing college, living up to their stereotypes. On the other hand, Wadham comes a surprising second to Corpus Christi, who appear to have been repelled to the other end of the political spectrum by their powerful neighbours, thus definitively proving that Tom Tower is a supermagnet to attract our alien overlords. 

In terms of year-group popularity, second year were the most sought after, with 77.5% of respondents indicating interest for that year group. Next was third year, with 73%. Surprisingly, only 50.4% of respondents wanted to match with freshers (an ominous sign). The OxMatch profs consider this a Covid-related disservice.

In terms of Covid security, 51.4% of respondents wanted their date description to be ‘Live Fast, Die Young,’ with legality only important to 42.1% of the remainder. Only 1.2% preferred the idea of a virtual first date. Continuing with first dates, 47.4% of respondents’ ideal first date would end with a peck on the cheek,  with over 42.6% preferring the simple three-step manoeuvre:  ‘Hi, how are you?, Horizontal.’ Efficient. 

That concludes this year’s OxMatch report. May you all find love and happiness.

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